What to do when parents take money for their special needs child and spend it on themselves?
Question by Stephanie W: What to do when parents take money for their special needs child and spend it on themselves?
My friends’ 3 & 1/2 year old son was diagnosed with autism 6 months ago. They are military, so medical bills and therapy are all provided for. They have also received a lump sum of money for the government for the care of a special needs child.
They have spent this money on the following in the last few weeks: 3 tattoos and 1 piercing between the two parents, shopping for clothes and shoes for the parents (mostly the mother), new cell phones for both parents, a cruise for a parents, decor for the home and eating out every day. They have bought the child a small amount of clothing because he’s started school and 1 Diego toy. They have traded up for a nicer minivan.
They have not: read anything about autism, researched autism, made any changes to the home to accommodate their child’s autism or made any changes to their behavior. Stay-at-home mom has never been to a therapy session. When the child is “bad,” he is disciplined with yelling and an occasional slap. Mom will grab his face and scream, “I don’t understand why you don’t listen to mommy!”
They have made no effort to buy new toys for the child since he already has everything a stagnant 18 month old mind needs (his developmental level). They aren’t interested in introducing art or music. He’s in front of baby TV from sun up to sun down. He lives off of pizza and hot dogs.
I feel badly for judging friends and being as I have no kids of my own, I think who am I to judge parents… but this is a little ridiculous…… RIGHT!?!? To spend this money they got because they have a special needs child on materialistic things for themselves. They cry “oh, my baby has autism,” but they don’t want to do that work to be active parents in this.
What can I do though?? Please only answer if you have kids, know anything about autism or childhood education or something similar. I’ve already heard from the childless know-it-all masses. 
Hi, Zorro…
Good point, but when 90% of the money is spent on material goods that parents could never have afforded without this money, that seems a little too much. Without getting into their personal details, they are practically dead beats cruising and shopping on our tax money which they only received because they have a special needs child. Then they give no special care to the child. If they did more for the boy, I would have no problem with this. I’ve asked a lot of people and you the only person who has stood up for them.
Josephine…
Sounds like you are okay with parents neglecting their kids. I’ll bet you buy fancy sneakers and get your nails did while your kids play in the dirt in torn up clothes. That’s not abuse though, so why should I care? I’m not part of this society, am I?
Dirty Deeds….
I live there. I moved out because I was discusted with them.
Best answer:
Answer by Zorro
What is this need that people have that makes them think child support or support in anyway should explicitly be spent on the child. Should they have a special bank account where they only buy the childs food, clothes from? How much do you charge the child for rent? Gas? Get real it is a way to subsidize their life, where they spend the actual dollar they are given is pointless…
What do you think? Answer below!
